4 years ago tonight....

Oh Ethan,
You were due April 20th. We were so nervous because your daddy had a big portfolio showing on April 27th and we thought we might just be in the hospital or newly home with you. Nope. You were fine and comfy in there. I, on the other hand, not so comfy. I was growing bigger and bigger by the day. I took maternity leave starting on your due date because my feet were so swollen I could barely walk at the end of the day. I laid around, watched tv, and ate. You got really really big. But still, you stayed put.
Finally the doc decided you'd have to be evicted. We scheduled your induction and were so excited to meet you. Your daddy's show went really well and was a lot of fun, though my feet were aching by the end of it. We decided, as we had one more day left before we went to the hospital, that we'd spend the next day at the movies and go out to eat.
I woke up the next morning with this strange sensation and knew I was in labor. You decided you were ready. It was 5:30 am, so I let your daddy sleep while they got closer together and stronger. By 10 am they were 4-5 minutes apart so we rushed to the hospital.
They weren't too impressed and made me walk. and walk. and walk some more. You were turned "sunny side up" so my back was not so happy. Finally they admitted us and a few hours later, gave me the epidural. The next few hours were so peaceful. I knew you were coming. Uma and Upa were on the way. Your daddy and I laughed and planned your future. Finally around midnight we started pushing. You were determined to stay put. My epidural ran out after 2 hours of pushing. I screamed at the doctor that I couldn't do it. He screamed back that I had no choice.
It was so hard. But, I knew then, and I know now, that so many hard times will come, but the thing about being a mom is, you just do them. And you can. The strength comes and you do it. Because of that miracle that came after 4 1/2 hours of pushing. The doctor had me reach down and grab you and I saw the most wonderful little person. You were so handsome and so perfect. Your eyes met mine and I knew you'd be amazing. You are amazing.
Every day is an adventure, every minute I have with you is special. You've taught me so much about my own strength, patience, and love. I am a much better person by being your mom. Thanks my little dinosaur - and Happy 4th Birthday!!